Monday morning I woke up, got ready, and headed into the city for a full day of auditions. I first went to Pearl Studios to sign up for the audition "It Should Have Been You" which was about a Jewish wedding. Since it was an Equity (union) call, I had to sign up on the EMC (Equity Membership Candidate) list and pray that pray that they would see EMC's that day. The monitor behind the table signing me up looked at me and told me that there wouldn't be a part for me and that I should just leave. I gave him a look and he said that I didn't look old enough to play any of the parts and that I didn't look Jewish. First of all, it's not his job to say wether a person is right for a part or not, he's just there to call names off in the order they signed up, and secondly, I have been told time and time again that if my hair was darker I could play a Jewish character. All it takes is a little hair color!
So he told me I could come back if I wanted, but that there way no way I would get a part. So I just accepted his criticism and left. I had every intention of going back to audition just to be seen.
Then I went to the Actor's Equity Center to sign up for another audition and after the monitor called all the Equity names, he got up and left the room. About 5 minutes later he came back and said the audition was closed and if you didn't hear your name called you wouldn't be seen. I went up and asked him about non-Equity people and he said that he just called those names out by the elevators and since I didn't answer, I couldn't audition. What?!? I told him that I didn't realize that he was calling non-union names out in the hallway and he freaked out on me asking if I had EVER been to an audition before and if I even knew what I was doing and he said that's how it's ALWAYS done (which by the way, that is NOT how it's always done. I've been to about 50 auditions in the last 4 weeks and that was the first time I had ever experienced that).
I apologized and he said he would put me at the back of the line. So I waited. In the meantime, the girl right in front of me kept going on and on about how good she was and that she had been a featured dancer at various different theatres, and how she was an amazing singer, and so on... I DON'T CARE. It's intimidating enough to audition day after day with people who are so incredibly talented and with me being new to the city. Her self-flattery wasn't helping my nerves.
When I went into the audition room, I handed the accompanist my music and he began playing. I started to sing and the producer behind the table refused to look at me. He looked away for a second and then he held up his wrist and looked at his watch continuously until I finished singing. That made me feel even worse about myself. He gave me a quick "Thank you" and I left the room. The producer kept everyone to stay and dance except me. I don't know if he was in a bad mood by the time he got to me or what, but I felt defeated. And I know I'm not that bad of a singer.
I thought about going back to the first audition I signed up for that day, about the Jewish wedding, but since the monitor guy told me not to "waste a headshot" I decided not to go and I headed home. On the Brooklyn bound (toward Coney Island) F Train, I sat there listening to my iPod thinking about my day. I then started to cry. The music and my mood and everything combined tore me down completely. This was the first time I've broken down and cried since I've been here. I didn't care that people were staring at me. All I wanted to do was go home and be alone. I couldn't stop crying. It got to be so bad, my makeup started running, therefore I pulled out my sunglasses and put them on.
The tears stopped and I was almost home when I heard an announcement over the subway speakers, "This train needs to be evacuated." Really?!? So we all gathered our things, exited the train onto the platform and waited for the train to be checked by officials. They closed the doors and said that particular train was out of service. It took off without any passengers while we all waited for the next train to arrive. After about 15 minutes another announcement was made, "There will be no more Coney Island bound F Trains." We were at a subway stop that ONLY HAD F Trains. And the only train at MY stop to get home was an F Train! Could this day get any worse??
Instead of waiting around for nothing to happen, like most people did, I chose to walk home from there. It was a long walk, but the fresh air felt good. I finally made it home (half an hour later) and relaxed. Then my friend Angela called asking if I went back to the Jewish audition. I told her that I was at home and that the monitor made me feel worthless so I didn't even attempt going back. She then told me that there were girls there later that afternoon that looked younger than me and they didn't look Jewish at all! And then she told me that the casting person in the room was David Hyde Pierce and that he was very nice. She said that he shook everyone's hand. Even if I wasn't right for the show I could have at least met and sang for him!!
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| David Hyde Pierce |
So I have learned my lesson. Never listen to what anyone has to say about casting a show, unless it's the casting director. It was a pretty bad day, but I think the emotion of moving, auditioning everyday without hearing anything back, adjusting to the fast pace lifestyle of living in the city, and everything else sunk in all at once. I'm glad that's over with. It's only up from here!
